"If There Were Anything I Could Say to Make You Stop Using"

There is nothing you can do to make someone quit using. Nothing.

I've written about clients who use illegal drugs before. Specifically methamphetamine is a huge problem here in Clark County. Speaking with a friend today, a very experienced and patient criminal defense attorney, I asked him how he handled clients who use meth. Here's his answer:

"If there were anything I could say to make you stop using, I would say it. But it is up to you."

You know what? He's right.

Addicts develop their own gravitational pull, encircling everyone around them into a crazy, co-dependent orbit. Parents, grandparents, spouses, children - and yes, attorneys, lay awake worrying about the addict. If only we could just get her to see! If only she would go to a 12 step meeting! If only we could convince her to go to treatment! If only, if only.

Let me repeat. There is NOTHING you can do to make someone quit using.

Parents of drug addicts have a hard time accepting this. For example, I was in court a couple of weeks ago and heard a mother tell the judge how she was paying the rent on an apartment for her son. Her 40 year old son. Who is a meth addict.

There is nothing you can do to make someone quit using. But you can stop supporting their habit. Every dollar you give a meth addict brings him one dollar closer to death.

I recently read a great book called Beautiful Boy by David Sheff. Mr. Sheff documents his son's long-term meth addiction, and his family's response. He describes how his heart was broken, again and again, and all that he learned about addiction. I recommend this book for anyone with a family member with a serious alcohol or drug addiction.

Addiction hurts more than just the addict. If you know someone living with an addict, please encourage them to go to Al-Alon and to protect the rest of the family from the addiction.